Speak Well

This past weekend my husband and I celebrated our seventh anniversary. We didn’t do anything exciting; in fact, we saved a date night for later this month to celebrate. With little kids, you take babysitting when you can get it!

In seven, years so much has changed in our lives. When we married we were bible school students living in a tiny apartment in a small college community, a great distance from family and friends. In retrospect we hadn’t known each other that long and if we are honest, we didn’t know each other as well as we thought we did. I didn’t know how to cook and we often wondered if we would make rent. We didn’t have cable or cell phones, we were a 20 minute drive from ANY shopping and we spent almost all our time together, even many classes.

As a newlywed, we were given ample advice. Some was requested and some not-so-much. But I remember being told one thing that has stuck with me for these 7 years and I will strive to maintain for 7 more. It was simply this:

Speak well of your husband.

It is so easy to sit with a group of girls and bond over your shared story, even if that story revolves around your husband’s forgetfulness, thoughtlessness, messiness or any other unattractive attribute. We usually don’t set out to do it, but we do. And even if your husband never knows what you say it can be immensely damaging to your marriage. In the same way, if you speak well of your husband and he never knows what you say, it can be incredibly beneficial for your marriage.

You can ask my dearest girlfriends or my family and I am confident they would attest to the fact that when I speak of Mike, it is usually glowing. My intention is not to boast of our wonderful relationship or mask the imperfections, of which there are many. My goal is that if Mike was to overhear me, he would blush a little bit. He would whisper to me later, ‘aww shucks hun, that was sweet of you to say.’

(Full disclosure: Mike has probably never said ‘shucks’ in his life, but it’s the picture I get in my head!)

When I do confide to a friend about our struggles it is because I have his consent to do so. If I unintentionally share more then I had intended, I seek my husband’s forgiveness. It’s a commitment that I made and I have found that the more I do it, the more I don’t realize I am doing it. Its second nature and even though it probably gets annoying to those I am closest to, I am so pleased I can bless my husband in this way – even if he never hears a word of it.



  1. Great advice… so true. Thanks for sharing, Courtney.

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